Tuesday, January 10, 2012
I'm honestly worried about people, and events in the future. Yes, in a general kind of way, but also in specifics too. I'm scared of the relationships and how they will be in the future, and how events pertaining to me will occur. The future scares me in so many more ways than one now. I have so much to worry about, that I just cringe at every thought of it happening soon.
I'm stressed out. Stressed out at the fact that you can't cooperate. It's sad to say that we've known each other enough, and for a long time, so you think that we would know how each other works, and be aware of strength and most of all, weaknesses and faults, that we would learn a way to deal with them or put them aside, but its the exact opposite. With every effort I try, it seems there's never going to be a way to go around this thing except by a miracle, or a self realization on your part. It's been hard to deal with it, but honestly I can't stop getting frustrated, especially since I thought by now, we would've been passed all of it. But I guess I was wrong, and it's frustrating to have hopes of better communication and cooperation crushed, after trying so hard for so long. Maybe it's because of who you are, and who I am, and we arent compatible enough to work it out, but that's even more heartbreaking. I just wish it could stop so we wouldn't have to deal with stressing over this kind of shit anymore.
It's for these reasons that I'm scared too. If this is what happens right now, what's to say its not gonna happen, or get worse in the future? What if we can never solve it? Does that mean it will never be able to work? That's so sad though, it's like another person you potentially could've stayed close with down the drain, and all that time and effort trying to make it last happily was wasted. But I really don't want it to happen, especially since we're involved in some pretty big things in the future, and I don't want personal reasons to make it even more stressful than it should be. I just don't see any guarantees with that right now. And it's sad.
Hopefully a miracle happens and you see it my way, or either compromise before, so it doesn't have to get to that point. I just want to get out of here and meet new people, or at least give me a break so have time to reset and have some tolerance for it before I go back to all the chaos.
9:15 PM
0 Criticisms