Saturday, December 24, 2011
Not to be a total Scrooge and be anti Christmas or something like that, but I just don't really feel the Christmas spirit. I'm not trying to say I hate it I just don't feel it, let alone enjoy it. I just really wish I had a bigger immediate family to spend the holidays with, because I can't with what I have right now. & it just feels like a big slap in the face when you see people around your neighborhood having family parties and dinners, seeing movies on TV, glorifying family dinner and get togethers, and getting presents (even the lame ones no one wants) from various aunts and uncles, seeing status on Facebook, Twitter and other places saying how much fun your friends are having, it just hurts sometimes to know you don't have all that and be constantly reminded by everything around you. Yes I admit I am kind of jealous of my friends, even though jealousy is a bad thing, but I can't help but feel depressed knowing that I don't have any of that, and I should be content with what I have, but what I have is so little. I don't even have a legit family that is together or likes each other, or me, at all. I still do like the holidays, but I just have a few hints of bitterness directed towards it that came from these circumstances, but I still feel bad for not liking it. I just can't wait until it's over so I don't have to deal with it anymore.
10:20 PM
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