Monday, September 1, 2008
Well, if you do still read this, thank you for it. :D
Lol, so yeahh, i dunno. i havent posted anything in hella long
chs ive been mucho busy doing stuff, or i just didnt have the time
OR i just didnt have a computer. HAHA.
but like, i dunno, i guess blogging can be a great way to vent out anything you want to,
and like just feel better about yourself because you actually
had the courage to post something about yourself that you probably
never would personally tell to the people you know, or dont know who are
reading it in the first place.
So i guess blogging can be a good thing, which is why ima partially
be back on it, until i have a reason not to. =]
But yeaah, i noticed with other peoples blogs, it can get prettyy...
intense? emotional? or just deep? haha. all those words seem to describe
it well enough, but it always differs with each persons blog that youre lookin at.
So lol, i dunno what to write about, and i guess ima just rant about random things right now,
chs i am hella bored, and i also havent posted in a long time.
So...im sorta pissed that this summer has to end so soon now.
chs this whole summer, ive been bored, but ive had the usual
entertainment of going to a random place, or going on a camping trip somewhere.
but the thing is, my whole summer, despite the boredom, has beeen
SO relaxing compared to my school year.
i mean more than you think.
and like, i dont want that whole thing to come back again chs its just
something that i hate to deal with.
plus i just feel that the fun of summer, for me, has just started to sink in for me.
Unfortunately, a week before school starts. -___-;;
and yeahh. ive had so much fun, and no stressful crap hindering me,
but even from two weeks before school starts, i felt all that familiar, yet unpleasant feeling that i suffered through the whole 8th grade.
and i dunno...it brings me down more than you can know.
And, for some reason, i have a really bad feeling for this schoolyear,
i mean, not like for US, maybe though, but i mean for me.
[ xD it sounds so...shallow.]
but yeahh. and like, its just this feeling that you want to go away, chs it makes you all emo and depressed and stuff,
but it also makes you wanna keep it too, despite the depressing and emo feeling,
and i know this sounds weird,
but i think it makes you want it chs its the only familiar feeling that kinda is stable for you, and the only thing you want is stability in your life.
Hahah, i dont know if you actually understood that, chs its kinda unclear for me,
but if you understand it, tell me. chs i wanna know what u think about it.
And yeahh. this whole summer, im pretty sure that i like lost all contacts with just about everyone i know.
and even though i had fun, its just...like a missing out feeling.
like by the time that you see them, all of the people that you know
look or act like totally different people, and it worries you chs
you feel like all these changes might be good for the person, but it might change all the things that you used to do before with the person.
[and im not talking about a specific person, but its kinda like in the range of 15 ppl i gueess. xD ]
but yeah, all that familiarity that you used to be comfortable with has just vanished in a mere 3 months where you havent seen those people.
Then it sucks, chs you have a choice to make.
Either, adjust, [which is most of the time pretty hard], to those people that changed, hoping that everything will stay fine and normal,
or put on a masquerade and just deal with them, chs u fear going out of ur usual group or whatever.
But then theres that other option that most people dread.
Everything that you used to know, had just changed, in a short period of time,
and theirs no way that you can adjust to it, chs either your adjustment will take too much effort and its not worth adjusting,
or too much has changed for you to do anything about it.
and its killer, chs then you know that youre gonna be left alone in anything that that group might do.
Chs you know that everything is just to different, and no matter what you wanna do about it, it just is highly improbable.
Then..its just. a feeling like an empty void in your life that nothing can fill.
Yeahh. i didnt really understand what i just saed. [x
but then its a truth ive been thinking about.
and like, i have so much that i think about,
but i doubt that theres enough time in a day just to type everything,
or even just talk about it.
so i guess ill just leave it at this for now.
Thanks for reading this, who ever you are. even if i havent had a post in a while.
:D
5:10 PM
0 Criticisms